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October 2, 2011
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The bleeding tree

A boy runs home and says to her mother:
„Come with me me, I want to show you something!"
The mother says: „Not now, my son, I have to finish cooking dinner."

A man says to his neighbour:
„Yesterday I saw this really strange tree, its resin looked like blood."
The neighbour says: „I bet it was a trick of the light."

The mushroom gatherer says to her friend:
„Last night I heard this unusual whining and howling in the forest."
Her friend says: „Oh, I don't want to hear this, I'm scared of the forest at night."

The years pass by, many dinners get cooked and eaten,
the tree sheds its blood year after year
its leaves howl in the wind night after night

The red liquid gathers next to the tree
some droplets first, then a puddle that after many years forms a pond
its black water refusing to be a home to animal or plant

At night the pond's smooth surface assumes human shape
Arms, legs, hands, feet, neck and a head,
with a hole in the face, an eerie light shining out

Now every night the villagers lock their doors firmly
bar the windows, bring in the livestock
huddle close to each other in front of the fire

The black figure limps through the streets
spewing out heart-breaking moans
the eerie light a floodlight, scanning, searching the houses

The villagers have had enough
they want to end those fearful nights
they meet and a solution they try to find

The mother remembers: „Son, what did you want to show me back then?"
The neighbour's friend realizes it wasn't a trick of the light
The mushroom gatherer's friend thinks: 'Maybe I should have listened despite my fear...'

As daylight breaks they stand in front of the tree
watch the droplets run down its bark and into the pond
„We make it stop bleeding and the horror will end"

They get their big sharp axes, chop down the tree
They bring barrow after barrow of earth
fill up the pond, cover it with patches of daisy-strewn grass

The villagers go home, satisfied with their work
One man stays behind, his gaze fixed upon the tree stump
He falls to his knees, his words mingled with sobs:

Why did they bring down the tree?
What shall I remember you by now?
How could I do this to you?

How could I do this to you?


2.10.2011   
Just recently I realized that I have a unusual anniversary to "celebrate": 20 years ago fell victim to sexual abuse. The worst thing about it was that I wasn't able to tell anybody at that time.
Again and again I'm amazed about how much this changed my life. Meanwhile I can say that due to this also good things happened to me, I'm sure I wouldn't have met my husband had this not happened for example among many other things ... so, don't pity me, I'm fine :-)
And actually at the moment I am more interested in the question: what do people do when they see signs of a problem in somebody else's behaviour? Humans can be so busy, careless - and too scared to look more closely


Last night I dreamt I was washing the dishes for the man who did this to me (so weeeird) - this made me deal with it today in the first place.
First I wanted to make a drawing showing the annual growth ring of a chopped tree, showing a deformation in the 18th ring
then it developped into this. I'd like to make illustrations to every verse some day - but then I want to draw so much and have so little time

Gah, enough said now :-)
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:iconmeinlieberabbit:
MeinLiebeRabbit Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011  Student Writer
wow...thats really deep...heh..i know i wasn't abuse the same way you were. I was tormented by a so-called friend who in the end blinded me in my left eye...I know I can't say i understand, but i do know where you are coming from.
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:iconcinemel:
cinemel Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
OMG, this sounds horrible! I'm sorry you had to suffer like this...
Reply
:iconmeinlieberabbit:
MeinLiebeRabbit Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011  Student Writer
heh, i've had four years to get use to seeing nothing but blurs on one side of my face. Idk why i let it get so bad with him...i think we were scared of him. But yeah...i think i'll put it up here..kinda like a story..hm..
I'm more shocked by you! I'm really sorry for what happened.
Reply
:iconcinemel:
cinemel Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My husband is blind on one eye too, I see everyday how hard and tiring it can be...
well, luckily my story was a long time ago and a lot of it has healed meanwhile...
I thank you for your sympathy!
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:iconvomitinjection:
VomitInjection Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I feel ya. This really touched me.
Reply
:iconcinemel:
cinemel Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I am glad when my work manages to do that :-)
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:icongrind-the-rust:
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011   General Artist
You're right, too many people, the moment they see signs of internal turmoil in someone elses behaviour, pointedly avert their eyes, not wanting their "nice" day ruined, not wanting a break in the peace, or to have to confront "someone elses" problem they may not be able to fix. I don't know whether people are scared, or just lazy, or both...

Needless to say, it is admirable how openly you deal with it now - I do not pity you, only admire your guts in facing the past with clear eyes.
Reply
:iconcinemel:
cinemel Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's exactly what I was aiming for! :-)
Thank you!
Reply
:iconxxpunkmetalxx:
xXpunkmetalXx Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I know you said for us not to pity...I am so sorry :c I know its been 20 years but I'm so sorry that that happened to you :c

on a different note..I liked the poem for some reason...I found it very symbolic~
Reply
:iconcinemel:
cinemel Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I thank you very much....!

I am very happy you liked it!
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